40,000 TIMES 40,000 times 40,000 times 40,000 times 40,000 times You’re an asshole And I fucked you 40,000 times I fucked you over here I fucked you with a beer It makes me shed a tear But I fucked you til’ I turned queer You’re an asshole And I fucked you 40,000 times And I wish that our sex was rape Because fucking you really isn’t that great I fucked you with a keg I fucked you with my leg And when my leg was gone I fucked you with my peg 40,000 times (I fucked you) 40,000 times (I fucked you) 40,000 times (I fucked you) 40,000 times (I fucked you) TOO MUCH STUFF Too much stuff Too much stuff I’ve got too much stuff Too much stuff Too much stuff I’ve got too much stuff A little calculator in my computer machine A doctor with a rubber glove that keeps my butthole clean A thing I got in Austria that pulls hair out my nose A giant piece of wood that’s formed to keep track of my clothes (chorus) A car with wheels that sucks my life because it never moves A penis that will help me with the taming of the shrews A little boat with bells on it oh who could ask for more I’ll sail my ship across the seas and fuck exotic whores I’ve so much stuff That I can’t see my stuff But here are some prints by a guy named Heironymous I’m addicted – addicted to stuff Maybe I should go to "Stuff Anonymous" (chorus) A weird potato peeler that fills an entire room A wardrobe trunk that’s densely packed with moldy pantaloons A savage giant narwhal with a lacerated spleen A moldy truss once worn by Freddie Mercury of Queen Banana bread, etruscan head, a shoe once licked by God A bunch of stinky band-aids rolled up in a smelly clod The dark command of Sauron and a face that swarms with bees... I’d give it all to you if I could find my fucking keys! YOU WANT TO SUCK MY DICK (no lyrics for this song in the liner notes) PANTS (no lyrics for this song in the liner notes) FAGGOT ON FIRE I believe in Bilbo Baggins! Faggot I’m a greasy little faggot And I’m a little tiny Maggot And now I’m fuckin’ Bilbo Baggins Faggot – faggot on fire Take it – take it to the wire Faggot – faggot on fire Take it – take it to the wire Faggot on fire on faggot on fire on faggot fire! Fire! Fire on my foreskin Fire! Some guys never win Faggot – faggot on fire Take it – take it to the wire Faggot – faggot on fire Making me perspire Faggot on fire on faggot on fire on faggot fire! HELIUM CREED I’m growing nervous with the Helium Creed They don’t deserve us ‘cause they won’t buy our speed But when I take it why do my eardrums bleed? I’m growing nervous with the Helium Creed I’m growing nervous with the Helium Creed I’m growing nervous, I’m growing nervous... Helium Creed Helium Creed Helium Creed Helium Creed I’m growing nervous with the Helium Creed Feeling the fear with all the fill of my feed I bear the bricks that break the blocks of the breed And grasp at green grass with the girth of my greed Helium Creed Helium Creed Helium Creed Helium Creed BEAT STALL I think I got it at the beat stall Beat stall Meat ball Wall to wall Ball ball I’m blowing cum on the wall! In the mix, stiff pricks Hot chicks, six six six Stupid hicks, act like dicks Getting kicks, popping ticks I’m blowing baby, blow-o-o-o-o-ing baby x3 I’m blowing cum on the wall! BEAT STALL THE DANCE OF EUROPE There is a dance, a dance that they do But they won’t do it with you They buy all our shoes, they wear all our pants And when we’re not there they do a little dance They do the dance of Europe The dance of Europe We love them for their beer and their weed They hate us for making them bleed We go over there and piss on their towns We really laughed when the Concorde fell down The dance of Europe x3 They hate us for the bombs that we used But they were to blame for gassing the Jews While you’re in Europe While you’re in Europe While you’re in Europe You’ll breathe the gas of Europe Why you in Europe? You stupid mother fucker Why you in Europe? You stupid mother fucker Why you in Europe? American fucker Why you in Europe? Get the fuck out of here man! IRANIAN MASTURBATOR I sat there and cried For our dead love And then I asked myself Are these tears real? I cried those tears for love For love hurts worse of all And I ask myself is this a lie? I sat there and cried For our dead love Plain to see the Iranian Masturbator You see that I found out too late That love hurts more than hate And I cry out in pain This is no lie And I told you I told you Said I told you I told you I sat there and died I sat there and died I sat there with Iranian Masturbator I cried out for love I cried out for love I cried out for love This is a lie The Iranian Masturbator WASHING YOURSELF Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself Yourself You’re always washing yourself You’re always washing yourself You’re always washing yourself You’re always washing yourself But you’re dirty SERVANT OF DEATH'S HEAD I was but 15 when I joined the SS Assigned to the Kharkov sector My father Johann was proud of my exploits He was the Obersturmbannfuhrer Servant of Death’s Head Panzerfaust Panzerfaust Rinky-dinky doo That’s what we learn in the school Jawohl The Knight’s Cross with Diamond Clusters In Brest-Litovsk I entered the maw I was driven mad by the hatred I saw My father Johann was proud of my exploits A shell tore off my jaw Servant of Death’s Head TWO SMART GUYS FIGHT (ABOUT MICHELANGELO) Michelangelo Fight fight fight Michelangelo Right right right Michelangelo Don’t you know? Contrapposto Chiaroscuro The Florentine Renaissance was simply awash With Genius sculptors gobbling each other’s cocks But towering above them all was Michelangelo’s David You see, Michelangelo was gay And the Pope knew But that’s OK The Pope was gay too For centuries the debate has raged - - Did Michelangelo endow his greatest work with it’s unique contrapposto Because of his intense genius Or Because He had received a flawed block of marble? Michelangelo Fight fight fight Michelangelo Right right right Michelangelo Don’t you know? Contrapposto Chiaroscuro THE PENNINGTON LARK The Pennington Lark He lives in the park If life was a crack pipe then he would be the spark The Pennington Lark He’s worse than his bark If life was a play he would be a remark The Pennington Lark He lives on a quark If life was the maker he would be the mark The Pennington Lark He’s quoting Plutarch If life was a bible he would be the ark The Pennington Lark He lives like a shark If life was a cop show he would be the narc The Pennington Lark Now hail to his hark If life was the Cutty he would be the Sark The Pennington Lark Demeanor is dark If life was a genre then his would be stark The Pennington Lark Is about to embark If life was an actor he’d be Micky Rourke The Pennington Lark The Pennington Lark The Pennington Lark The Pennington Lark I CLEAN UP REAL GOOD I might be a stinkin’ son of a bitch But I clean up real good I might live with a dog in a ditch But I clean up real good I might be an infected pus wallowing Throbbingly bulbous pig-dick swallowing Indoor arena football team following Zorasterist... BUT I clean up real good (insert self-deprecating literal imagery here) BUT I clean up real good GREAT NEWS! That is great! Really great news And I’m so happy So happy for you And I’m so glad life’s treating you just like it should And I’m so glad you’re getting your bell rung so good I’m so happy to hear it... That is great news I’m so happy to hear it Now it’s time to die MASTURBATE Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate I’m gonna cum Gonna cum Gonna cum Gonna cum When I Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate I’m gonna think about my Mom Think about my Mom Think about my Mom Think about my Mom When I Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate I’m gonna leave it in the soap dish Leave it in the soap dish Leave it in the soap dish Leave it in the soap dish Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate It feels great Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate Masturbate I SAW THREE FORMS (no lyrics for this song... yet) CALLING DR. FONG (no lyrics for this song... yet) LADY DIED Lady died! Lady died! So why does everybody fucking cry? Lady Di... Oh Lady Di... You’ve got your boyfriend’s tieclip wedged in your eye People get fucked up every damn day She gets our pity so why don’t they But she was so pretty, a real superstar Always wear your seat belt when you ride in a car Lady Di Oh Lady Di You’ve got a hub cap stuck in your thigh Lady Di Oh Lady Di Sucking your fine Arabian Stallion dry On the grave a withered rose Think how much she’s decomposed Her death has no meaning, it just doesn’t matter I’d like to see her fucking head on a platter Lady Di’s corpse is going on tour Fuck a million midgets with your suppurating sore You’d fuck a million midgets or more Maybe your driver should have taken some no-doz I’ve been all over the Internet but I still can’t find the autopsy photos If your mother was involved in a fatal car crash That killed three people Where the driver was drunk and on drugs And where she wasn’t wearing a seat belt People would say she was a dumbass who had it coming But just because Lady Di was a princess She gets treated like royalty!