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V: Various Bits 'N' Bobs

5.0 - Death Piggy, RAWG, X-Cops, DBX & various other GWAR-related bands
5.1 - Slave Pit Inc.
5.2 - GWAR on the web
5.3 - Have You Seen Me?
5.4 - The Joan Rivers interview
5.5 - Thanks
5.6 - Version history

5.0 - Death Piggy, RAWG, X-Cops, DBX & various other GWAR-related bands

5.0.1 - Death Piggy
Basically, Death Piggy was GWAR before the costumes. They were a small-time punk band in the Richmond area that started in 1982, flourished briefly and were then fully absorbed by GWAR in 1986. They put out a few '45s and had a small yet loyal following.

Dave Brockie: lead vocals, bass
Russ Bahorsky: guitar
Sean Sumner: drums
Steve Douglas: guitar (replaced Russ after the "Death Rules the Fairway" single)

Excerpts from an interview about Death Piggy with Dave Brockie might prove useful here:

Q: Chuck mentioned that Death Piggy used to bring out a paper mache character called Uncle Knobby and kill him in really brutal ways. Care to elaborate on this?
A: During a big show with Wendy O. Williams, we brought out a dummy made out of papier mache, cloth and glue. It was "Uncle Knobby", a cripple clutching a Big Gulp, devoid of legs and propped up on a wheeled cart. He had a song too...and while we did the song ( C'mon Uncle Knobby, lets peel back your brain, lots of fun, he's got a gun. Now I know you are insane.) I would remove his brain while he drooled. Later he appeared in a GWAR show were he had a 10-ton jet engine dropped on him. That was one of the greatest triumphs of our lives.

Q: Were there any other strange stage theatrics?
A: Lots. One show we set up our living room on stage and pretended the show was a practice. People would "Come over" bringing beer and watching TV. We had a "horn section" featuring transvestites and a trombone. We mock hung someone and he nearly died. We gave out "Chuice" ( chew and juice) and sponsored a mayo bar. We threw banana peels into the slam circle and distributed pies and paper airplanes to thew crowd. Then we started dressing up like GWAR.

Q: I understand that there were Death Piggy comics that you did, possibly including Wharghoul. What were some of the subjects of the stories of these comics?
A: I used to put out a comic called "Mr. Donut" and produced 4 issues. It featured mine and others' work, including early work from current GWAR members Hunter Jackson and Scott Krahl. Whargoul is an illustrated novel I am currently working on about the exploits of the character introduced on the "Ragnarok" album. Its genre could be called Horror/War historical fiction. My old comics were about everything from "The Hook" (big hook that came out of nowhere after you lost your keys) to "Kingy" and "Prince Eddie" (bizarre inbred behavior of twisted royal family) to "Homo Pyle" (gay sex on Iwo Jima). Maybe one day I'll get around to publishing them.

Q: Any philosophical ramblings about the deeper ramifications of Death Piggy on the collective unconscious of mankind and its social repercussions?
A: Smile or die.
(End of interview)

5.0.2 - RAWG
What is RAWG? You might have gone to see GWAR in a small club one day only to find a bunch of - people - instead! What!? You have to watch mere mortals instead of the great Gods of GWAR? Fear not fans...RAWG is GWAR (spell it backwards). See, sometimes GWAR has to disguise themselves as human beings so they can get into small clubs. Why? Well there's no room to kill and destroy on a little stage. So do they just come out as themselves and sing? No. They still put on a great show! And here's some more names for you to remember:

Vincent Bologlioni as lead singer
Morris Lester strummin' the bass
Joseph (Joe) Scrappinetti on lead guitar
G-Credit playing the rhythm guitar (also see the MC Rhyhtmless project, above)
David Muselini poundin' the drums
With manager Manny Cotti and soundman Lou Zania

But just because there's no blood doesn't mean there's no theatrics. The drummer often pours buckets of water on his head while Vincent dances around and wraps himself in tape. So if you have a chance to see RAWG, then do it! It's amazing hearing/seeing the voice of Oderus come out of a normal (?) person. Sometimes they claim to be GWAR in human disguise, other times they say they're the "Ultimate GWAR Tribute Band."

5.0.3 - X-Cops
One more variation of GWAR is X-Cops. On occasions GWAR have dressed up as policemen and performed as their own opening band. This was during the "Toilet" tour, in 1994. In the mean time, X-Cops have released their album called "You Have the Right to Remain Silent" and have toured the club circuit in Europe. The 7" EP supposedly was their swansong effort, but BalSac has claimed that there should be another X-Cops album in 1998.

These are the members of X-Cops (for more info, see the bio section)...

Cobb Knobbler (bass and occasional vocals) - Bay Area gay Aryan, thrown off the force for sucking another man's penis.
Louis Scrapinetti (guitar) - Newark, New Jersey.
Biff Buff (vocals and occasional drums) - thrown off the force because he liked doughnuts too much.
Zypygski (occasional vocals) - mutilated in a methamphetamine lab raid gone wrong. It was a Masonic conspiracy because he knew too much. The speed blew up in his face. Since then he only makes inarticulate sounds and wears a leather zipper mask.
Tubb Tucker (vocals) - the meanest motherfucker of all, thrown off the force because he beat up the mayor and raped his dog er...uh...daughter.
Al DePantsia (guitar).
Billy Club (drums).
Philip McRevis - keyboards/effects.

5.0.4 - Dave Brockie eXperience (DBX)
Quoted from the horse's mouth: "The Dave Brockie Experience (DBX) has been heard by many and the experience is quite refreshing amidst a day and time of wanna-be punk rockers, girly glam stars, and that piss-poor "Gangsta" cRap on MTV. Headed by the one and only Oderus Urungus, Dave Brockie, lets loose his lyrics with crossed eyes and a drooling tongue. True, there is no blood sprayed for the masses at these shows, but if you're close enough you're sure to showered by Dave's sweaty persona. He is backed by Balsac the Jaws of Death, Mike Derks, on guitar. Derks plays for the crowd as he is a one man rock-star king on his beloved pink guitar. Jizmak da Gusha, a.k.a. Brad Roberts, never misses a beat on drums and never lets his hair get out of line. Be sure to check these guys out anytime they're within 500 miles of your hometown and support GWAR like the slobbering slave you are."

Dave Brockie (vocals and bass)
Mike Derks (guitar)
Brad Roberts (drums)

DBX's debut album, "Diarrhea Of A Madman" was released on 20 March 2001. The follow-up, "Songs For The Wrong" was released in 2003. It still looks uncertain whether or not they will record more albums.

5.0.5 - The Hellions
Casey Orr now also plays in a band called The Hellions. The Hellions lineup: Former REO Speedealer/Billyclub vocalist Dave Woodard, former Rigor Mortis/current Gwar bassist Casey Orr, guitarist Mike Todd, former Puncture guitarist Mike T., and former Hagfish/Welt/Diesel Boy drummer Scott Carter make up this frenetic punk quintet. Their debut full-length album, "Radio Holocaust", has been released on Hello Records.

5.0.6 - no deal
Quoted from the horse's mouth: From the depths of GWAR's Slave Pit comes yet another band, no deal. The band was formed in the winter of 2001 by guitarist Jeremy Smith (sound engineer/tour manager for GWAR and DBX), guitarist Micah Binns (Step Child, Before Falling), and GWAR/DBX drummer Brad "Jizmak da Gusha" Roberts. Songwriting began after the last GWAR tour in 2000 when Jeremy met Micah playing out on the Richmond, VA music scene. Brad joined the band during the February 2001 demo recording sessions at the newly formed Slave Pit Studios, where DBX and the latest GWAR recordings are being done. Vocalist Todd Hall (singer for Rev 9) from Washington, DC joined soon after, adding a diverse dimension of melody and anger as the voice of the band. With a unique style of heavy punk, melodic hardcore, emo and modern metal, in the vein of Helmet, Quicksand, Boy Sets Fire and The Deftones, the band is sure to be one of Richmond, VA's best-kept secrets.

Note: More bands will most likely be added to this section in due time.

5.1 - Slave Pit Inc.

Slave Pit is the organization (made up of GWAR and all their slaves) that is responsible for many things around the band, including merchandising. If you have ever seen a GWAR concert then you know it must cost a lot to put on that type of event - therefore their profit margin cannot be that great. One way we as fans can help is to purchase GWAR related items from Slave Pit. This money goes to make better shows which in turn generates more fans which will make more money for better shows that will generate more fans which will...well, you get the point. A quote from the Slave Pit catalog:

"Remember any money you send to the Slave Pit goes directly to the slaves that create GWAR for you and help them make more of the sick stuff that you crave! So help support GWAR!"

To receive the Slave Pit catalog, send a SASE (US$ 0.55) to the address below. Send IRCs if you're from outside the States.

Slave Pit Inc.
P.O. Box 5225
Richmond, VA 23220
United States Of America

5.2 - GWAR on the web

5.2.1 - GWAR-related sites

The most important link to keep track of is the official GWAR site. Quite easy to remember, too. This section is not a full list of all GWAR-related URLs, however the most important ones should be here. Also, it includes links to related bands...

Slave Pit Inc. (learn all about the guys and gals "behind" GWAR)
Bohab Central (the re-opened Bohab Central, made by GWAR fans for GWAR fans)
The Official Davis Bradley site (the official site of GWAR 'Slave', Davis Bradley)
The Official Hypereal Productions site (Don Drakulich's production company)
The Official Kepone site (Mike Bishop and Tim Harris are in this band)
Matt Maguire's page (he is a GWAR slave)
The Official Dave Brockie & Oderus site (you really should know this one...)
The Stretch Sculpture site (he has worked with GWAR, off and on, in the past)
The Official Rigor Mortis site (Casey Orr is in this band)
The Official Painproof Rubber Girls site (Ula, who played Slymenstra once in 2002, is in this act)

5.2.2 - The GWAR internet mailing list

Around the end of November 1996, GWAR member BalSac the Jaws of Death took over and utterly revamped the GWAR Internet thing. From then on you could also join the GWAR mailing list. The web site has later been revamped again, and as soon as you register an account there you were automatically subscribed to the mailing list. For a while now, however, the mailing list seems to have ceased to exist.

5.2.3 - GWAR on IRC

Yes, there is an IRC channel where you can meet GWAR fans - if usually not actual members of the band. It's #gwar. Don't get pissed if everyone has OP status and you don't; its a regular thing, you gain their trust and then you get OP status. In case of it being "invite only" or "bad key", join #slave-pit. They use dream.espar.net or dragon.esper.net (port 5555). Mike "BalSac" Derks sometimes joins there. Check out http://www.gwar.net/mooselodge/irc/index.php for additional information.

There is some controversion going on about which channel would be the best to use, involving perma-bans and whatever.

The last time this channel was checked, however, it did not exist...

5.2.4 - GWAR on Usenet news

In case you hadn't found out yet, the official GWAR Newsgroup, to which especially BalSac mails with some regularity, is alt.music.gwar.

5.2.5 - Jizmak's Total Slavery Fan Club

Jizmak has started his official Total Slavery Fan Club, which only costs US$ 15 to join (and you'll get a lot of stuff, including a club T-shirt, ID card, band photo, poster, and letters from the band). If you want to get the info you need to join, send your address details to the Slave Pit (address above) or click here. As a member of this fan club you'll also get the chance to buy collectors item CDs that are not available anywhere else.

5.2.6 - GWAR e-mail addresses

The following list comprises the email addresses of most members of GWAR:

Oderus Urungus - oderus@gwar.net
Flattus Maximus - flattus@gwar.net
BalSac The Jaws Of Death - balsac@gwar.net
Beefcake The Mighty - beefcake@gwar.net
Slymenstra Hymen - slymenstra@gwar.net
Jizmak Da Gusha - jizmak@gwar.net
Techno Destructo - techno_destructo@gwar.net
Gor-Gor (a.k.a. Scott Krahl) - gorgor@gwar.net

5.3 - Have You Seen Me?

This paragraph lists a number of small things that you may or may not have seen in any of the GWAR videos, during stage shows or generally any other GWAR occurrence anywhere. Just to show you that there's more to GWAR than at first meets the eye. It also lists small facts and stuff (i.e. trivia) that you might not know.

Hell-O era, and before

The first GWAR tour bus was just a modified school bus set in 3 sections. Section 1 had 2 sofas, for chilling out. Section 2 had bunks for everyone to sleep in. The third was for storage of all their props and equipment. Needless to say, it was a crowded house.

Their first creative medium was paper maché. It was very weak, though, and almost all the props had to be remade for each show. Very costly and very time-consuming. They finally discovered foam rubber, which they carved to their desire specifications. It was light and rather strong. However, their ultimate material was 'pre-vulcanized latex rubber'. It's self-curing, and is used for things like Oderus' mask.

Dave used to be in a band called Yams On Wheels, which consisted of Dave on a fiddle and a friend on piano.

"Rock'n'Roll Party Town" was GWAR's first song.

The Sexecutioner mask was the first full head mask. Dave loved it so he asked Chuck Varga to help do him one for Oderus. Originally Oderus just had some sort of weird head gear almost like a helmet.

The first blood-spew prop was played by Don Drakulich; he played a fan getting his arm ripped off.

Don's first GWAR prop he made was a staff for Cardinal Syn.

"Hell-O" was literally made on a weekend and was rushed.

If you listen really closely you can hear traffic on "Hell-O", though you probably can't hear it anymore on remastered CDs. There are thought to be cop siren sounds at the end of "Je M'Appelle J. Cousteau" (at about 3'03").

There are a shitload of really obscure credits at the end of the "GWAR Must be Destroyed" video. Of those that have not yet been included in the regular bio section, some of the people were...Adam Green (soundman) and Charles Jesky (neon designer).

The bonus track on "Hell-O", "Black and Huge", was taken from the video for the song. It's the first GWAR appearance of Mike Derks. There actually seems to be a rough version of the video, too, with a timer running at the bottom of the screen.

GWAR must be fans of Bloom County/Outland comic strip: Ever notice the stuffed animals of Opus on "Live From Antarctica"? What about the Oderus' reference to Unsullied Pantaloons?

Scumdogs Of The Universe era

There seems to be a distinct connection between GWAR and NWA (Niggas With Attitude). Take a listen to "The Salaminizer" on "Scumdogs of the Universe" and NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta" on "Straight Outta Compton" - notice anything? GWAR has dealt with Priority Records, the label NWA was on! Some parts of the lyrics to NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta" are:

Here's a little story bout a nigga like me
never should of been let out the penitentiary
Since I was a young youth, I smoked the weed out
now I'm the motherfucker that you all read about
taking a life or two, that's what the hell I do
you don't like the living well fuck you
this is a gang, and I'm in it.
my man Dre'll fuck you up in a minute
with a right, left, right, left you're toothless
and then you say "goddamn they ruthless!"

Dave's favorite song is "Sick of You", because it usually means the show is over :-).

Although there are rumors going around that GWAR was at one time banned in dozens of States in the US, in fact they were only banned for a year from appearing in North Carolina in account of them "disseminating obscenities in front of minors". That was when Oderus got arrested.

Dave is still a Canadian citizen and doesn't have a driver's license. He was threatened to be deported during the infamous Charlotte, NC lawsuit... that last bit is a rumor though. Just like in "Phallus in Wonderland...the real judge's name was the Honorable Judge Richard ('Dick') E. Boner! Midgets were on trial in the courthouse on the same day as GWAR.

America Must Be Destroyed era

"America Must be Destroyed" was recorded after Dewy Rowell (Flattus) left, but before Pete Lee joined. Mike 'BalSac' Derks played all the guitars (rhythm and lead), and two other guitarists played on the album too: Tim Harris (of Kepone, the band Mike Bishops left GWAR to) played lead on "America Must be Destroyed"; Lee Harris (from Jizmak's old band Rosebud) played lead on "Crack in the Egg".

"Ham on the Bone" was actually written before "Scumdogs of the Universe", and this old version was a lot slower.

Mike Scaccia (Ministry) was originally asked to be Flattus when Dewey was kicked out of the band. He turned it down because Ministry was a full-time gig, but he recommended his friend Pete Lee who was in Rigor Mortis with Mike and Casey Orr.

The samples in the title song of "American Must Be Destroyed"): Some of the samples come from The Last Poets, which was a group that kind of predated rap with spoken word performances about black issues "the White Man's got a god complex...". There was a sticker on the front of various copies of AMBD that stated that some of the samples came from a couple of their albums (samplings of Pudim m the original recording "This is Madness", appearing courtesy of "Are You Experienced?"; sampling of Felipe Luciana and David nelson of "The Last Poets" from the original recording "Right On!" appearing courtesy of "The Last Poets Productions"). A lot of the other ones came from CNN and news programs. Some other qoutes like "No more than ten to twenty million killed, tops!" are from 'Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb' (1964) directed by Stanley Kubrick, starring Peter Sellers, George C. Scott and others.

"Pussy Planet" was originally written as a duet for Slymenstra and Beefcake. Slymenstra wrote the song, and she can be heard at some instances in the song.

In the "Phallus In Wonderland" movie: During the song "The Road Behind" there is some black & white footage of GWAR dancing around in a small room (falling down, knocking down tables, etc..) On the wall of this room is the logo of the "before they were GWAR" band Death Piggy - it's a picture of a big pig's face.

Also in "Phallus in Wonderland", Corporal Punishment's suit had to be made in red, white and yellow instead of the more traditional red, white and blue. This was done in order not to screw up the blue screen (chroma key) sequences. A political statement lost...

Flattus was actually played by a different person than Dewey or Pete in "Phallus in Wonderland". He was played by a friend of the band (and sculptor), Jeff Rumaner, and was given only a very small part so nobody would notice.

Brockie's personal favorite GWAR CD is "America Must be Destroyed".

Distortion Wells, pseudonym of the director of "Phallus in Wonderland", was in fact the talented (Jackson quote) Bill Morrison. He took over about halfway, when the first director (name unknown and thought not important) quit. All the good bits are Morrison's doing.

Dave Brockie worked with Rich Kids on LSD (a.k.a. RKL) on their "Reactivate" release (Epitaph, 1993). He played the part of a Jehova's Witness in a skit that's in the middle of the song "Piece of Shit List".

This Toilet Earth era

Pop-Up-Poop: When "This Toilet Earth" was going to be released, GWAR wanted the centerfold to be pop-up turd (like children's pop-up books). But unfortunately the suits wouldn't go for it.

Jello Biafra (Dead Kennedies / Jello Biafra front man) plays the human version of Skulhedface at the end of the video. Sebastian Bach from Skid Row plays the metalhead rocker that has his Jizmoglobin sucked dry by Skulhedface and his Homogenizer.

In 1995 GWAR was supposed to release a "Spoken Turd" album.

GWAR had a song called "Vinny" that was set to go on "This Toilet Earth", but it was taken off along with "Private Pain of Techno Destructo" and "Drop Drawers". There's also been a ballad-like song, "Scallop Boat". GWAR claims to have two albums of stuff (spare songs that got dumped) like this. "Drop Drawers" was also supposed to go on "Carnival of Chaos" but was dropped once more. Most of these songs made it onto the "Slave Pit singles"

Pete was shot in the butt and stomach by a carjacker after doing "This Toilet Earth". He did the Skulhedface tour with a colostomy bag.

Brad Roberts' personal favorite GWAR CD is "This Toilet Earth".

Jim Rose did some set construction on the GWAR movies.

"This Toilet Earth" was tentatively titled "Poised To Fail".

RagNaRok era

"RagNaRok" was tentatively titled "Mad At The Sun".

On the "RagNaRok" promotional poster, Matt Maguire stood in for Pete as Pete was in Texas at the time of the shoot.

Howard Stern has been using the "Knife in Yer Guts" song as a theme song (late 1996).

GWAR did a photo shoot on top of the Empire State Building. It was used for NYC magazine called "Popsmear".

X-Cops was just the first of many planned GWAR offshoots. Satan's Skins (SS) may have a G.G. Allin-esque lead singer named Toe E. Namel...who blows himself up every night on stage.

Carnival Of Chaos era

GWAR appeared on a Jerry Springer show, together with The Mentors, on January 31st 1997. Slymenstra later appeared on the show again (July 1997), together with her boyfriend. Yes, there was some fighting :-).

At the beginning of "The Private Pain Of Techno Destructo" there's a segment taken from the Rossini composition "The Barber of Seville". This is popular for its use in Warner Bros. Cartoons.

Apart from the fact that "Don't Need A Man" had been written about 2 years prior to "Carnival of Chaos", is allegedly wasn't even intended to be a GWAR song. Originally it was written with just BalSac on piano and Slymenstra on vocals, nothing else.

In "Don't Need A Man", the piano and strings (even the upright bass) were sequenced. It was recorded in GWAR's smelly little jam room. Right when Danyelle sings "nothing on earth can satisfy me, I can do better I can" you can hear a phone beep when she sings "earth". It was recorded on an ADAT, using really shit spew encrusted mics. It gives it a scratchy sort of sound (almost like it was recorded in the 40's). BalSac produced the track, but didn't get credit on the album.

The phone beeping sound, so some claim, might actually have been a drum cymbal (which is a lot less interesting :-). In "Don't Need a Man", however, you can also hear Danyelle talk at about 2'19".

Under the CD in the "Carnival of Chaos" packaging is the touring version of the Flesh Column. Another version was used on the "Skulhedface" video.

The body-painted woman (what do I say, babe!) in the CD liner notes is indeed Slymenstra.

Although Chuck Varga did leave GWAR, he still works together with Don Drakulich in a company called HyperRealProd Inc.

GWAR likes to take sound effects from horror movies and put them into their act. In "The Return of Techno Destructo" video (uncut version, this is the original, not the repackaged cut version) there is a scene where, for about a minute, Tarantulina pummels Techno in slow motion. The sound effect used was from the movie "Dead Alive" (a.k.a. "Braindead"), a really hilarious gore film by Peter Jackson, which seems to have inspired GWAR somewhat. Tons of spewing gore (the most ever in a movie, it literally shoots out) and even zombie sex which produces a sadistic zombie baby. You can also hear this sound clip in "Dawn of the Day of the Night of the Penguins", during "Private Pain of Techno Destructo". The sound clip in question is when Mother Cosgrove slams her foot down on the Sumatrian Devil Monkey, killing it.

GWAR also likes to use "Evil Dead" (1 and 2) sound effects (where actually there are Three Stooges sound effects to begin with).

Carnival Of Chaos was tentatively titled "The Art Of War".

We Kill Everything era

Pete Lee was going through stomach surgery while "We Kill Everything" was being recorded. He hasn't played on the album. Tim Harris of Kepone played on the album, and Mike Derks probably did the Flattus picture in the CD liner art.

The working title of the album was "High Brow Potty Humor".

Casey Orr temporarily left GWAR, and his work was being done by the original Beefcake, Mike Bishop. Casey was doing something on a side-project with two ex-members of 10,000 Maniacs. He came back for the April 1999 world tour. Kepone did not disband. Casey's absence, however, seems to have prevented an X-Cops album from being released anywhen soon.

It is reckoned that "Penile Drip"'s vocal styling was mimicked after the Cartoon character named BRAK from the cartoon network's show "Space Ghost". Both spew out "unintelligible shit". Especially at the ending of "Penile Drip", Dave sounds exactly like Brak.

In June of 1999, Dave Brockie, Brad Roberts and Michael Derks played the local Richmond circuit for a bit using the monicker OLD (Obnoxious, Loud and Drunk). This later became the Dave Brockie eXperience.

Unknown era, or general

Information that allows me to put any of these facts into a specific era, above, would be appreciated hugely.

Dave Brockie puts a lot of historical references in his lyrics, which may come from his educational background. He has a bachelor's in Fine Arts in printing and painting and his minor was art history.

Oderus was the spokesman for Circuit City when they opened their video games section.

Mike Bishop doesn't really like to talk about GWAR. He calls them 'the g-word'. He does this not out of spite, but because he is tired of always being associated with GWAR. There is no hostility, as a matter of fact Kepone (the band he's in) practices next door to the Slave Pit. He has even rejoined GWAR.

Mike Derks and Brad Roberts have a side project band called Köszönöm. In 1994 they recorded a demo tape.

GWAR expel 180 gallons of 'spew' per show.

BalSac's hooves were made by Bob Gorman.

GWAR have recorded their songs Gor-Gor and The Private Pain of Techno Destructo for an episode of the "Kids Next Door" cartoon, with words changed to fit the kiddies better, of course. According to Joe Keene, the man who gave me this tip, this is an "eye witness report" on the episode:

"I was watching cartoons with my kids and it started playing gwar songs!! No shit my 3 year old son was watching an american cartoon called "Kids Next Door". and it played the private pain of techno destructo and Gor Gor. Of coarse it changed the lyrics to fit the storyline. the story went like this

....The kids next door, who are like secret agents or something, walk into the lunchroom and this old lady who tries to make kids eat gross food, starts splattering the kinds with food. All along its playing The private pain of techno destro. It was like a gwar concert parody the kids getting splattered with food while the part in the song where it was "gwar must die" she sings "kids must eat" then this giant sandwich monster comes up while its Playing Gor Gor. Surpisingly most of the lyrics where the same like "swats f16 from the sky" the rest of the word were replaced with the contents of the giant sandwich. the hook of the song was her singing sandwich instead of gor gor."

X-Cops are known to have written/played some more songs besides the stuff on their album and the 7" single. For starters there's "Nurture my Pig". It's a cover, actually, originally by a band called Loco Gringos. They've also done "Conflict Management", which is a Zipper Pig song. Cobb Knobbler kinda does a back up vocals duet while Zipper Pig rants about nazi skinheads. The lyrics are very hard to understand because Gorman had some weird voice distortion device on him. Last but not least, they've done a cover of the Steve Miller band, "Rock'n Me". Cobb did the vocals.

The Black guy with the orange hair in the video for X-Cop's "Interloper" is apparently a friend who hangs out at the pit a lot and played the re-occurring victim at X-Cops shows. He's also the guy in the far far back on the back of the X-Cops CD (the black and white photo, he's the guy at the counter. He used to be in a band (Kalkan) that toured with GWAR in late 1990.

5.4 - The Joan Rivers interview

The legendary Joan Rivers interview has once again been included into the GWAR FUQ, and some nasty typo-s that still lingered have been corrected as well. Enjoy!

Joan: ...Scumdogs of the.. ha ha here's one I'm going to wanna get.. Scumdogs of the Universe, thank God it's out. Please welcome GWAR.

Oderus: Well Ms.Rivers, the first thing I would like to do here as Oderus Urungus, lead singer of GWAR and my friend Beefcake the Mighty We would like to heap lavish ammounts of praise upon you, let's hear it right now, a little cheer for the star. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Hip hip hooray. Let's give her a hand, here you go. [He gives her a severed hand] Don't you like it?

Joan: I'm going to make it into a lamp. Let me ask you, what's going on at your concerts? You're throwing blood out into the audience, right? You throw dismembered limbs in theory, right? This all goes on during the concerts? What is your philosophy behind all this?

Oderus: Well basically we view the human race as scum. We are indeed from another planet y'know, and human beings we see as food, dogs so much, to be destroyed onstage in mass. They do not dislike this, rather they throw themselves gleefuly into the jaws of death.

Beefcake: It's sort of a microcasm of the entire human condition if you will.

Joan: I don't know what the hell your talking about.

Beefcake: Neither do we Joan, it's okay.

Oderus: Everywhere you look nowadays, you look on T.V. you see people being run over by tanks, people being beaten by the police, people starving, uh new sexual diseases...

Beefcake: Famine.

Oderus: ...Obviously the human race is in love with self destruction. We are only satisfying a consumer need.

Beefcake: Thats right, supply and demand. Supply and demand, Joan.

Joan: And you are supplying a consumer need. I mean, you're in such popular... Suddenly you're becoming huge. What about children coming to your shows? You throw blood - not real blood I hope.

Oderus: Well of course it's real blood, what are you talking about?

Joan: No, no seriously...

Oderus: No, no seriously, everyone who comes to our shows are ground up and after the show they're dragged under the stage and tiny robotic arms take the fillings out of thier teeth, and the rest of their bodies is ground into GWAR dog-food. Not a drop is wasted.

Joan: Where is GWAR by the way, that's where you come from or that's the name of the group or both?

Oderus: No, the place where we come from.. Well Beefcake, what planet are you from again?

Beefcake: Well I'm from the planet Cholesterol.

Oderus: I am from the planet Scumdogia in the center of the universe far past Uranus. Now we were banished to this insignificant mudball planet Earth...

Beefcake: Make me sick, this planet.

Oderus: ...because we were eating too many chili cheese burritos and generally making a mess of things. So we were banished here to serve eternal pennance until the day we are recalled to the stars to do whatever y'know happens then.

Beefcake: But it's not much of prison because obviously on this planet we can defy gravity. And we're having fun y'know.

Oderus: We can blow on our tounges and grow to 300 feet in the air.

Joan: You've probably already done that on Sally Jesse...

Oderus: Hahahahaha! That razor-sharp wit of yours Joan.

Joan: Do you worry about music at all?

Oderus: Why of course...

Beefcake: Why worry? We are wonderful.

Oderus: We don't even play the guitars actually. Telekenetically we manipulate the fret boards with our minds.

Beefcake: Mind music.

Joan: But who writes your music? Do you have any involvement in that at all?

Oderus: Well indeed, we created the word music, the whole concept of the unit. After we destroyed the dinosaurs, we stretched their gizzards across the Grand Canyon...

Beefcake: Rubbing them lightly...

Oderus: And Beefcake composed the first song ever...

Beefcake: That's right.

Oderus: ...I believe it was "I Write The Songs." Barry Manilow stole that from us.

Beefcake: Every piece of music ever written, it was robbed from GWAR.

Joan: Ah, what about sex in your act...

Oderus: What about sex?

Beefcake: In our act?

Joan: In your act.

Beefcake: Sex?

Joan: Yeah. They say there is a lot of sexual things going on in the act, and that is what takes it into a whole different area that makes 2 Live Crew look sweet.

Oderus: 2 Live who? I don't watch much television.

Beefcake: Of course you do...

Oderus: Oh, except your show. We watch your show 24 hours a day. I know what you're talking about, this 2 Live Spew these guys who like to say the F-word a lot. Well I for one are really glad that they got off. You know what I mean?

Joan: What about you? Are there a lot of sexual inuendos in your act?

Beefcake: There's no inuendo to it.

Oderus: There's nothing inuendo about it. There's a fifteen foot long growing penis that spews digestive fluid everywhere.

Joan: Now you have that on stage and yet you let children...

Oderus: Not all the time, sometime y'know it haunts us, it follows us gig to gig. We've had some problem you understand with it.

Joan: Were'nt you arrested?

Oderus: Oh [lowers head in shame]

Beefcake: You really shouldn't have.

Joan: Oh, I'm sorry.

Oderus: No. Strength, strength like my friend Laurence Olivie would tell me. It is true that in the human suburb of Charlotte, North Carolina - thank you Beefcake for be being here for me right now - We have, or I used to have anyhow, an object growing between my thighs that we called the Cuttlefish of Cthulu. This aformentioned object was attached to my body y'know. And the police came to the show and they told me that I was trying to simulate a human penis. I mean, what an insult!

Joan: They arrested you?

Oderus: They didn't arrest me so much as bribe me, take me back to the station house and said they wanted to do a bunch of confiscated crack with me. And I love to party y'know so I went back to the station house and the next thing I knew I was unconscience and they had amputated the Cuttlefish with a laser-saw and buried it in a nuclear waste sludge pile. The Charlotte police were holding the Cuttlefish for some time - Tipper Gore was holding it for a while, but they made her give it back.

Joan: Let me ask you, how far are you guys going to go?

Oderus: Cleveland. Do we have some Cleveland people here? Thank you very much.

Joan: Aren't you worried that people don't get that your very funny, that going to take you seriously, and see something like this? That someone's going to go home ans say that's what they do, and whack. Aren't you afraid of the responsibility of that?

Oderus: Well I think that anyone who does that is very disturbed person to begin with.

Beefcake: We don't want to know those kind of people.

Joan: I think you're brilliant and I think you're teriffic. But it worries me that somewhere someone is going to watch you and say, okay that's what we do.

Oderus: Well let them join the Army or something, there's plenty of outlets for that.

Beefcake: Let them be policemen or something.

Joan: Well I think you're funny and I think you're bright, and it's been a pleasure talking with you, please come back anytime you're in the neighboorhood, just drop in.

[Fade into Sick Of You]

5.5 - Thanks

Thanks to the following people for helping make this FUQ the way it is now. First and foremost to the original creator, Brian "Gwarrior" Carter (who was in his turn indebted to Vince Laviano, Steven Redant and Jason).

Second of all, many thanks indeed go out to Richard Karsmakers, the second person in line responsible for maintaining the FUQ.

Further thanks go to Madeleine Annaruma, "Anto", Chris Balcunas, Bob (the GWAR Forum), "ChainSaw" Cyberslave Brian, Connie, Daniel Eriksson, Diana, "Enforcer", B.J. Felix, Christophe Costa Florencio, Chris Flynn, Count Funkula, "Djef the Effigy", Brian F. Gaffney, Gnome, Volker Graf (whose ‘FUQ’ logo I ruthlessly ripped from an old web site with version 1 of the FUQ) [note: this logo is no longer used on the site], Claude Harvey, "jeka", Jessica 'Hymen', Mark Jerome, Joe Keene, John Lacki, Vince Laviano, Tim Link, ChristianMcClain, B. McMikey, "Pinhead X", "Quahogs!", "Ragrot", Rusty Shackleford, Ted Samsel, Shoggoth, "Seant666", "Seigh10", SexCow, Steve Slack, "Slayer", "Taint Monger", Ula and "Zoulonfire", who all helped me, either personally or via alt.music.gwar, to get the facts in this revisited FUQ straight and expanded.

Special thanks to the GWAR loremeister himself, Bobby "Scumdog" Conover.

Last, but somehow eerily importantly, thanks ought to go to the people in and around GWAR (and especially Internet guru Mike 'BalSac' Derks and Dave Brockie), who make the music and do the things that are somehow worth anthologizing! I also took several pictures from http://www.gwar.net somewhere. Hail!