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I: The
Beginning Of The End Well, this is it. GWAR knows how long it had been since
this FUQ was properly updated before it turned to version II, but in
September 1996 it finally happened. In January 2001, to kick off the freshly
started new millenium, the whole thing was made available on the Web in
properly HTML-ized form. So what you have here is a proper overdose of GWAR-related
trivia designed purely for GWAR fanatics' satisfaction, with as many puns as
possible thrown in for excellent accord. Also, it can function as a hallowed
vehicle to introduce into the fabulously versatile and rather frightfully
naughty world of GWAR those who as yet still have rimmed butts or physiques
otherwise not yet squirted into or bled upon. In case you are not familiar with the concept of FAQs (or,
for that matter, FUQs, in which case you're a particularly sad excuse for an
individual indeed), read the next paragraph. GWAR knows you'll need it. FUQ is a takeoff on the ever popular FAQ files that
pollute the Internet. FAQ simply stands for "Frequently Asked
Questions". But as of late it has come to indicate a text file full of
information about a certain subject. And you can get one for just about
anything at all: Television shows, music groups, sex, drugs, masturbation,
suicide, you name it! But if we're going to get really technical, this really
isn't a FAQ, because not many people ask the questions addressed in this text
file at all, let alone ask them frequently. Hence the name FUQ (pronounced
like "fuck", which is completely coincidental of course) which
stands for "Frequently Unasked Questions". 1.2 - How to get
updated versions of this thang This file was
started somewhere in the mythological past of alt.music.gwar. The precise
date only GWAR knows, but that's not really all that important anyway. What
is important is that the FUQ II is the major revamp after 1.0, which was the
very first installment. But there'll be more or less frequent updates, of
course, which can always be found on the GWAR FUQ official web site at
www.gwarfuq.com. From now on, there will be no postings on alt.gwar.net. as to when a new version will be available, you will just
have to pop by this site and look for yourselves. Easy to do, right? 1.3 - How to make
this thing so brilliant even GWAR might approve First of all, the word must get around so the world at
large knows about GWAR and the morally just things they stand for. And you
all realize that people who read about GWAR are likely to check their stuff
out, thus earning GWAR the money they need to bring us even more
spectacularly entertaining and awesomely profane shows. Second, if you notice anything - anything at all - that is
either incorrect or incomplete in this FUQ, please feel free to fill in the
gaps (possibly with source reference). This FUQ should approach immaculate
GWAR-like imperfection ever closer with every release that is bestowed onto a
baffled mankind. Several sections are as yet horribly incomplete, so help is
appreciated and, indeed, wanted. This goes especially for album/CD catalogue
numbers, and missing dates of birth and current membership status on some of
the guys (and gals). You can start by just making me aware of any typos. Just
search for the question marks in the FUQ and try to fill in any gaps there,
too. Cheers! 1.4 - Hell-O - is
it me you're looking for? This FUQ is based on work done by Brian
"Gwarrior" Carter, indebted to whom we all are immeasurably. It can
be found here. By now it's a lot larger and more accurate, and
about 95% Richard Karsmaker's own (with some new stuff added by yours truly,
of course), so I shall honor him with a few words here. The person
responsible for maintaining the FUQ up until around September 2004 was
Richard Karsmakers, a 35-year teacher (English and computer subjects) in the The picture
below is him holding the one and only Cuttlefish, at Waldrock,
Check out
Richard's own site at www.42nd.net,
if you dare. While Richard
claims to have "fell out" with the whole
GWAR experience, I think he's lying because once you're a GWAR fan, you're
forever a slave of theirs. Any attempts to cut away from their own sick and
perverted "religion" if you will, would most likely result in them
removing his brain with rusted fishing hooks (before being fed to the World
Maggot, of course). So, while he has entrusted me with the mindnumbing task
of maintining the FUQ from now on, I bet he's still a fan at heart. Oh well,
enough babbling. "Who in the hell are you?!,"
you might ask yourselves. Well, allow me to introduce myself. I am your new
Master.. of the GWAR FUQ,
that is. I used to run a pretty much insignificant little GWAR fan site lots
of years back, then known as The GWAR Pit. I have been a GWAR fan for over 10
years now, and I don't plan on ceasing my worship in the almighty Gods! I also
live in the near-Arctic regions of I also run a
wrestling website called Fiesta Fest Wrestling, check it
out if you feel like it. I have, as
aforementioned, been entrusted with keep this thingie tip top,
and I will be starting right away! So, no more introductions, time to go to
work! For any
questions, suggestions, additional information, etc., please feel free to
contact the new GWAR FUQer, here. |
